Remembering Crashpryor
Posts
Blair here
I heard this song today and the lyrics 'I miss you already...I miss you always' hit me like a ton of bricks...so I set the earlier video I did to this song...I think I will do this as the songs come to me...which might be often
love ya Crash
b
(This is a cross-post from my Multiply journal. I wanted to make sure it was archived here to remember Chris properly. - SamTheButcher)
...I'm sitting here drinking my second Bushmills. I think I only had two in the Snake Pit that day. Thanks for recommending that place, it was pretty casual.
I'm sorry we didn't get to meet up that day. I was looking forward to it. I usually drink wine, but I ordered Bushmills because I thought of how funny it would be for me to be sitting there drinking whisky before noon when you walked in. I pictured you telling Blair "Dude, this guy was drinking WHISKY before suppertime!" or something like that. Not that I wanted to be hardcore or one-up, but just funny.
I wanted to buy you a drink for your birthday, I wanted to talk music with someone whom I consider a musical mentor, someone who appreciated and loved a lot of music, much more than I did, and to be honest, I think pretty highly of myself in that regard. Heh.
I love being near people like that, whether it's music or writing. I love being around like-minded folk, especially ones that I feel a kinship towards. We shared our love of Fishbone online, and many other bands, too. I saw your post about them, thanking me, after I found out you had passed. I couldn't wait to talk with you about them.
I called so many times on Saturday night. I called to reach you to solidify our plans. I called just to make sure you had unblocked my number. I wondered what was up then. I wondered what was up when you didn't show, and didn't even look at my LA meetup entry.
I felt bad when I found out. I felt guilty that I had joked about hoping everyone was okay. Because, of course, I thought everyone was. I didn't hear from pinkfish, but she read it. I heard from Blair. I didn't hear from my other LA friend or my SD friends, I didn't figure they'd make it anyway. But I knew you would. I hoped you were as excited to meet me as I was to meet you.
Your death is so abstract to me right now. You were words on pages, LCD twitches in the ether. When you die and you're still there, are you gone? I wonder if my wife would want to go and read all of my online comments should I suddenly go. She'd probably be shocked at some, but laugh most of the time. There aren't a lot of pictures of me around, but there's a lot of me online.
I think the last thing I sent you was a link to one of the stories that I wrote a while back on Slashdot, a piece of writing that I'm very proud of. I hoped you would read it and tell me you liked it. I respected your opinions. I respected your writing more, and that's why I wanted to hear what you had to say, writer to writer.
I didn't want you to be gone, Chris. I wanted you to be late, or had something else to do. Found a last-minute cheapo fare to Germany to be with your woman. Scheisse, man, why'd you have to go?
See what you did. Now I'm crying.
How can holes hurt so badly? What was it that Sol said? "one of the best ways to find out where someone fits in your life is to see the hole it makes when they are not there."
You're not here. There's a pretty big hole.
We had so much to talk about. There was a lot of living left to do. We'll have to finish what you started, have your energy diffuse among us and infuse us with the power and the will to carry out our dreams and plans.
Thank you, ChrisCrashPryor. In passing, you've given me some fire.
I'll take a great big grepsi to ya, anyway.
Thanks.
Comments
Sam: this was beyond beautiful. truly. a fitting tribute for Crash. your words are _beyond_ words
Crash was loved by so many people, and has inspired a great deal of soul-searching and good writing. What better legacy could he have?
Of course I'm sorry that I speak of the "legacy" of such a young man.
Who is this Sol who said “one of the best ways to find out where someone fits in your life is to see the hole it makes when they are not there.”? That is the immutable truth.
It's Micki again...
I finally spoke with Chris' Mama... we shared our grief... it was sad but I like to think it was encouraging for both of us to be in this together.
Now, there seems to be a problem... Chris lived and passed away in LA, and his mother lives on the East Coast. She told me I should take care of retrieving his things, most of all his writing. But I don't understand the legal side of it!!!
Vanessa (glammerhammer) told me that Ms. Pryor Robinson will have to claim his things, since he didn't have a will. Does anybody know how to go about this? Time is kinda pressing, because the month is over, and his landlord might just throw his things out!!!
There are people willing to help with physically getting his things (BIG LOVE TO DAVE AND GLAMMERHAMMER)... it's just the "how-to"...
Please post or pm me any knowledge or info you might have that could help solving this problem... volunteers to help with the sad trip to Pasadena would be nice too... let's not get the state claim chris' writing and notes (and stuff)...
Love and Peace,
Micki
Comments
I'm glad to hear you spoke to Chris' mother...I would imagine that helped in some way. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the legalese is in these situations. I may be able to get some info from my bosses' attorney - I will let you know if I'm able to find anything out. Maybe ask MOG to put this post in the spotlight so more people will see it...there's gotta be some lawyers out there!
Comments
Good, great job.
Who is the band, sir?
oops...sorry, forgot to tag it! Pearl Jam 'Smile'
:(
(Nice one Blair... )