Aboriginalien
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This is personal
I write for my own sake
and for those who follow close to me
and because it is the truth.
If you don’t know me personally but found my mog and have been following it you may have noticed I am in love with Mareyana. Her real name is Ghada. We used this site to share music amongst each other until we found better sites for exchanging large files quickly and smoothly. We eventually withdrew from all the different public sites, feeling no more thirst to declare our love in a public way, we were completely wrapped in each other, there was never a single hesitation or doubt about it, it was unabashed love. We found a way for her to call me on my cell from Egypt for free. We spent every day of every hour together as much as possible and then some. She compromised her schooling and I my work. She was studying to be a doctor and I am self employed running a wood working business with my father. It was relentless and so intense unlike anything I have even seen or known. I was her first and she loved me as such, fearless of love. She had never been hurt by love, she loved with no shame and poured it on day and night endlessly, I could never get enough. She opened my every door, both of us racing from moment to moment to be together. The days we just filling all that mattered was being together and there wasn’t a single day we were not together from the first day I met her. Until she had to leave for a vacation into the country side on my birthday July the 2nd. She managed to write me every other day and catch my emails at a coffee shop by riding into town with others who were going out for supplies.
On Wednesday July 16th 4pm her time 9am my time. She was on her way to a wedding.
She was riding with her father in the passenger seat.
They had to stop at a rail road crossing. Her car was first in line. Behind her was a car with some more of her extended family. Behind that car was a bus, her brother, sister and mother where traveling late, hours behind.
A truck or trailer of some kind approached the stop too fast and had poor brakes.
It couldn’t stop in time.
It hit the bus and pushed her car into the on coming train, derailing the train.
My love did not make it to the hospital.
41 people died with her and her father.
Breath is now hard to find. Food is irrelevant. I sent all away and I am alone in the falling rain of Florida. I can’t believe she is gone. I just can’t believe it. Ever time I awake from my patchy sleep I feel like I am hit by a train. 2 days before she died I finally bought the airplane ticket to go see her in November and right before she left for vacation she sent me a lock of her hair and a piece of her scarf, they arrived about a week ago covered in her scent.
She loved me as if there was no tomorrow. Everyday she did, every hour. She was so intense. There was never enough time, always never enough time. Time just seem to be getting quicker and quicker everyday for us. It was as if some part of her deep down knew. I don’t know. But she burned so bright and so power and so quickly. She was only 20 years old.
I am adrift now, lost in space. With no up or down, no air to breath, and a weight on my chest that won’t stop. I am sick, and have no center like a planet who has lost its sun. I know no one can ever understand what we experienced, it’s ok. Not everything in life should be able to be explained. The one thing I can hold to is that we never lost a moment. We lived every second of every day and night to its fullest. I can’t think of anything I would have done differently. But it doesn’t stop the fact I feel like I am dying.
Lyrics of Summertime
Summertime and the livin is easy Fish are jumpin and the cotton is fine Oh your daddy is rich and your ma is good lookin So hush little baby, don’t you cry
One of these mornings You’re goin to rise up singing Then you’ll spread your wings And you’ll take the sky But till that morning There’s a nothin can harm you With daddy and mammy standin by
Notes of an Aboriginalien……..
How can time slip away so fast? Does the scent of potency draw Black thieves in the night To steal From the heat of breathless moments Time
Steep rolls the paradox When attention is focused on traveling well Unfocused on arriving to a destination Increasingly attention turns to the moment Enjoying the ride With no measure of flowing time Before you know it, days, weeks, months, years have passed
Potency of presence increases and The quantity of time seems to decrease Until what were plentiful pockets of time before Seem now, to be no time at all Timelessness following presence What an exchange!
Comments
i like how they've re-envisioned this classic song. i really want that summertime to come!
I loved the music , so nice and tickle the dreams of innocent days of childhood, but is r time really moving , Time is only in a cycle season follow a season and summer following spring , But we are moving so fast season after season , days are stolen , and we are growing and I like the idea about the quality of the travel as it may end up to another destination . I loved what you wrote , thanks
Lyrics by Interpol
You can't hold it to tight These matters of security You don't have to be wound so tight Smoking on the balcony But it's that sleaze in a park You women you have no self-control, The angels remark outside You were known for insatiable means I don't know a thing
I've seen love, and I followed the speeding of starlight I've seen love, and I followed the speeding of starswept night
Yeah pace is the trick
And to all the destruction in men Well I see you as you take your pride My lioness your defenses seem wise I cannot press And detentions are demised, my lioness Can't you hurt it some, think I hurt it
I've seen love, and I followed the speeding of starlight I've seen love and I followed the speeding of starswept night
And now I select you, slow down I let you See how I stun, see how I stun And now I select you, slow down I let you See how I stun, see how I stun
And to all the destruction in men And to all the corruption in my hand And now I select you, slow down I let you See how I stun see how I stun [3x] And now I select you, slow down I let you I always follow the speeding of starswept night
Notes of an Aboriginalien………………
Only the impossible is perfect so bring on the pain let the cold air crystallize around the warmth of my heart
Beat me with thorns Batter me until bruised
Show me the mercy of no mercy if you are waiting to rain down on me, let it pour let it pour now
Break off my digits shove them down my throat I only need to choke and jab
There is nothing to hang onto and nothing to say
So, I think it is time to go dancing or……. kill something.
Comments
i'm very sorry to hear this sad news. although i didn't know her well, her presence on mog will be missed. i know it's hard but keep your head up, aboriginalien.
as founder of MOG, the team here sends its warmest regards. i am so so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your beautiful words that are a tribute to Ghada.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but she will always be with you in your heart.